Thoughts

Post Departum Depression Post

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We’ve been back in Germany for a little over a week now. A busy week, in which we filmed one short movie and edited two. In which Jonas’s tooth broke and we had to rush to the emergency dental service in the middle of the night. We met friends and went to the cinema. We played games and worked on our various creative projects.

So not a week in which we wasted a whole lot of time (except that one day, the one where we didn’t do anything but play Dragon Age: Origins, but that’s a tale for another blog post). And yet… and yet I feel like we’re trapped in a dream. Everything feels fake, unreal and somehow unpleasant.

The weather doesn’t help, I suppose.

In Memoriam

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The Turmpalast closed a few weeks ago.

While this will not mean much to those of you who’ve never been to Frankfurt, it comes as something of a shock to me. Not an entirely unexpected shock – rumours of imminent closure have been thick for years now – but I always used to think that it would be sometime soon, maybe next month or in the fall, but not now.

The Turmpalast – sixty years old, never really renovated in all that time, dirty, decrepit – has been my cinema of choice, the only English-language cinema in town, for more than ten years. It is hard to guess at the exact number, but I would estimate that I have seen far more than 2000 movies there during that time. Some were bad, some were good, and a lot of memories are connected to its cheesy, red-carpeted halls that always seemed to be so much more appropriate for an adult cinema. There was the randy old lady that wouldn’t stop talking about Antonio Banderas and how they never had any sex in movies when she was young during Original Sin. There was my twentieth birthday when I lost my brand-new cell-phone during a Sneak Preview. Or that other Sneak, where a totally drunk local celebrity (Captain Jack Durban) kept yelling and hollering throughout the movie. Or the day we tried to watch Jumper and the movie ripped about twenty times before we gave up and asked for a refund.

As I said, not all the memories are good. But I saw a lot of nice  movies there, and my English wouldn’t be half as good as it is today if it hadn’t been for the Turm, so I guess I owe the place. There is another English-language cinema in Frankfurt now, all shiny and new, so from now on we’ll be able to watch movies in style, albeit for twice the money. But the Turmpalast… the Turmpalast was always there and the city will feel strange now that it is closed. And no matter how run-down it was at the end, I will  still be sad that it’s gone.

So goodbye, Turmpalast. You will be missed.

Search Engine Term Of The Week (Episode 15)

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Today:

im scared of squirrell

I see.

I mean I really, really see. It’s perfectly understandable. Just look at this.

Scary buggers, them squirrels.

Edit: Two days later I got this one:

are there squirrels in the dominican republic

Tons of them. They practically grow on trees there. Wouldn’t go, if I were you, my Sciuridae-paranoid friend. (I’m just going to assume that this was the same person, because otherwise it wouldn’t be fun. And that’s true because I said so.)

Search Engine Term Of The Week (Episode 13)

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Today:

divinity 2 novel way of giving head

Come to think of it: What’s so hard …difficult to imagine about this?

There’s almost certainly both an audience as well as an industry for priest/nun-related porn (both mostly located in Vatican City, one can assume). Starting from that premise we may further surmise that there are franchises and blockbusters in the world of Faith Porn. Names like Rectal with the Rector, The Crucefucktion of Christ or Benedickt XVI: Sacrament of Excrement come to mind.

*urgh*

Anyway. So there might be a Divinity I: Giving Head The Traditional Way out there. Just might, mind you. And I’d rather if there wasn’t.

I’m afraid you’ve got squirrels.

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Recently in Bernkastel-Kues: (I know, German place names. What else can I say, except: Sorry.)

Verena is walking down the steps of a medieval castle tower. Upstairs she saw the picturesque town of Bernkastel-Kues, the river Mosel and a whole lot of clouds that are going to rain very, very soon. Halfway down the stairs a squirrel comes up her way.

Squirrel: Fuck, what’s a human doing on the stairs? The tourist season hasn’t even half begun.

Verena: Oh, squirrel. Cute.

Squirrel: I’d better go down again. Stupid human, messing with my tower. (Goes down stairs, muttering to self.)

Verena: Mhm… wonder how it is planning to get through that door down there?

Squirrel: Fuck, how was I planning to go through that door down here? I’d better go back up.

Hop, hop, hop.

S. looks at V. with a very accusing stare.

Squirrel: What are you still doing here?

Verena: Sorry.

Squirrel: You better be. (Hops past and vanishes in the dark of the staircase.)

Shortly after, in the tap-room of the restaurant that you need to pass through to get to the stairs.

Buxom Waitress: So, how did you like our tower?

Verena: It was very nice. It’s just… I’m afraid you’ve got squirrels.

Velociraptors, Bunk Beds, Godzilla and Cats

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How long could you survive chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor?

A question worth knowing the answer to, I think. The Oatmeal also has a collection of other delightful quizzes and comics (which I like totally found by accident this very morning when I noticed that the old link to the velociraptor quiz had turned into a retail store for bunk beds overnight… go figure).

Also:

And while we’re putting stuff up on the net: