I’m afraid you’ve got squirrels.
Recently in Bernkastel-Kues: (I know, German place names. What else can I say, except: Sorry.)
Verena is walking down the steps of a medieval castle tower. Upstairs she saw the picturesque town of Bernkastel-Kues, the river Mosel and a whole lot of clouds that are going to rain very, very soon. Halfway down the stairs a squirrel comes up her way.
Squirrel: Fuck, what’s a human doing on the stairs? The tourist season hasn’t even half begun.
Verena: Oh, squirrel. Cute.
Squirrel: I’d better go down again. Stupid human, messing with my tower. (Goes down stairs, muttering to self.)
Verena: Mhm… wonder how it is planning to get through that door down there?
Squirrel: Fuck, how was I planning to go through that door down here? I’d better go back up.
Hop, hop, hop.
S. looks at V. with a very accusing stare.
Squirrel: What are you still doing here?
Squirrel: You better be. (Hops past and vanishes in the dark of the staircase.)
Shortly after, in the tap-room of the restaurant that you need to pass through to get to the stairs.
Buxom Waitress: So, how did you like our tower?
Verena: It was very nice. It’s just… I’m afraid you’ve got squirrels.