I’m afraid you’ve got squirrels.

Recently in Bernkastel-Kues: (I know, German place names. What else can I say, except: Sorry.)

Verena is walking down the steps of a medieval castle tower. Upstairs she saw the picturesque town of Bernkastel-Kues, the river Mosel and a whole lot of clouds that are going to rain very, very soon. Halfway down the stairs a squirrel comes up her way.

Squirrel: Fuck, what’s a human doing on the stairs? The tourist season hasn’t even half begun.

Verena: Oh, squirrel. Cute.

Squirrel: I’d better go down again. Stupid human, messing with my tower. (Goes down stairs, muttering to self.)

Verena: Mhm… wonder how it is planning to get through that door down there?

Squirrel: Fuck, how was I planning to go through that door down here? I’d better go back up.

Hop, hop, hop.

S. looks at V. with a very accusing stare.

Squirrel: What are you still doing here?

Verena: Sorry.

Squirrel: You better be. (Hops past and vanishes in the dark of the staircase.)

Shortly after, in the tap-room of the restaurant that you need to pass through to get to the stairs.

Buxom Waitress: So, how did you like our tower?

Verena: It was very nice. It’s just… I’m afraid you’ve got squirrels.